Sunday, May 20, 2012

Three way phone conversation between Deuce, Nick and Ty


Deuce walks down to the rocking chairs positioned on the back lawn about forty feet from the house and lowers down slowly into one of the chairs using the arm for support and keeping his bad leg relatively straight. He pulls his cell phone out from the front right hand pocket of his faded jeans and dials Nick’s number, surprised Nick hadn’t called to gloat over the Red Sox win over the Phillies yet.

Deuce: “The enemy won...”

Nick: “YES!!! Uh oh, down to the last game...”

Deuce: “We just gave you a little break...”

Nick: “No, we teased you last night and lured you into thinking we were submissive...now we strike!”

Deuce:” That's what you think....”

Nick: “we will see who will be holding the bill at the end of dinner.”

Deuce: “You mean, you?”

Nick: “All I'm saying is, bring the card with the big limit”

Deuce: *laughs*-“That would be all of them! “

Nick:  *smiles-* “Show off! In that case...apps, dinner and dessert?”

Deuce: “Bring your credit card!”

Nick: “I'm a cash only kinda guy. I don't like leaving a paper trail...maybe I'm paranoid Dr. Grady. A session on you couch may be in order.”

Deuce: “You just want on my couch cause it's leather”

Ty stomps down the slight slope and plops down into the rocking chair next to Deuce. After finding out who Deuce is talking to he tells him to put Nick on speaker phone (all through lip reading and hand motions)

Nick: *continues on conversation unawares*“I just want on your couch so I can gaze upon you in your nerd glasses from a recline!”

Deuce: “Note to self, wear contacts...!”

Nick: “Aw, D, that's not nice. Isn't the patient allowed to crush on his therapist? Can't you indulge me a little?”

Ty: “You guys are nuts”

Deuce: “Look who's talking there, Beaumont”

Nick: “Oh, God, another Grady! THAT"S why I need a therapist!

Ty: “Hey, I don't deny my crazies”

Deuce: “This is true…god, the fortune I could make if I charged for our talks”

Ty: “You aren't allowed to charge your family!”

Deuce: “Which is why you've never gotten a bill! I only charged Zane ‘cause I knew the government was paying for it...”

Nick: “How much do you charge if I don't say anything...just look at you?”

Deuce: “Double.”

Nick:* laughs*

Deuce: “Be thankful I didn't say triple”

Nick: “I'm wearing you down”

Deuce: “Just in a good mood tonight”

Nick: “Oh God. I don't think I want to know why since it isn't due to your team winning or anything.”

Deuce: “And I'm still at home... sitting outside enjoying the darkness and the breeze”

Nick: “Oh yeah, I forgot you guys were down there kissing your cousins.”

Deuce: *smirk* - “Our cousins are good kissers, right Ty~?”

Nick: “Not as good as me, right Ty?”

 Ty: “Sorry Nick, Sam is a better kisser than you.”

Nick:  “that's just...gross. And I'm very confident in my kissing abilities. We can let Deuce be the deciding factor...”

Deuce: “I've never kissed my brother...”

Nick: “Better than Sam, not Ty!”

Ty: *snort* -“No amount of booze or bad drugs in the world could make neither of us kiss each other, nor make D kiss you”

Deuce: “I've kissed a cousin once... but in my defense; I didn't know we were related!”

Nick: “What?! Girl or guy? And how the hell did you not know you were related?! What about Sam? Is he hot?”

Ty: “SAMantha. And it wasn't a French kiss or anything.”

Deuce: “I might have been slightly drunk... it's the best way to get through family reunions.”

Nick: “Wait...first of all, you BOTH kissed a cousin? And secondly, D - YOU WERE AT A FAMILY REUNION! You're defense is blown! Convicted, man.”

Ty: “its West Virginia everyone kisses a cousin at some point.”

Nick: “Jesus Christ. I think my crush has been cured of both of you.”

Ty: “Thank god for small blessings”

Deuce: “And if I tell you it was the same cousin we kissed....?”

Nick: “Ew. And fuck you Ty, I'm a good catch!”

Ty: “I've caught old tires that were better than you.”

Nick: “I'm going outside to smoke a cigar. I'm done talking to you both”

Ty: “You do that, O.”

Deuce: “Got you beat. I'm already outside smoking... not a cigar, but...”

Ty: “Speaking of Os…The amount of Orange and Black in Baltimore has gone a little overboard now that the Os are the number on team in MLB for the season.”

Nick: “D, you do realize you’re chatting with a cop and an FBI agent, yeah?”

Ty: “He knows I'm not gonna do anything about it…Hell, pretty sure he's got papers somewhere that say he has it for medical purposes.”

Nick: “I may have to cuff him”

Deuce: “It helps my leg; you're not allowed to cuff me”

 Ty: “He's not your jurisdiction”

Nick: “He will be Friday...”

Ty stands up and stretches

Ty:” you boys have fun. I'm going to bed.

Nick:”Goodnight Ty!”

Deuce: “Night!”

 Ty: “Night, guys! Don't do anything I wouldn't do.”

Nick:”Thanks for the wide berth.”

Ty:”Anytime, Buttercup.”

Ty strides over to the garage to join Zane in the top loft where they are spending the night

Deuce: *resumes prior conversation*“And I'm not insane enough to bring anything on a plane. I'll have legal drugs with me”

Nick: “Damn”

Deuce: “Hate to ruin your fun”

Nick: “you'll have to find another way to entertain me”

Deuce: “What little I'll see of you. I'll be on the boat to sleep and that's about it!”

Nick: “And the night you buy me dinner”

Deuce: “You're the one buying me dinner!”

 Nick: “this time tomorrow night we'll know the answer to that question. When the *ahem* Phills loose”

Deuce: “Sox are going to lose...”

Nick: “Alright, alright...we'll see...”

The call breaks up, both of them saying hello a few times, than drops…ten minutes later Deuce receives a text from Nick. It's a picture of a bottle of Jameson and cigars with the title ‘Oh, yeah!’…*follow the text on tumblr!*

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